Novelty Records

Mr. Custer
by Larry Verne (1960)

Mr. Custer

Listen to it

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There are 8 comments for this item.

Posted by Duff at 1:48 pm (PST) on Tue March 4, 2014   
You might find the Wikipedia entry on "King Heroin" enlightening.
Posted by superrenee at 7:50 am (PST) on Mon March 3, 2014   
Here are the lyrics and other info for "King Heroin":

Ladies and gentlemen
Fellow Americans
Lady Americans
This is James Brown I wanna talk to you about one of our
Most deadly, killers in the country today
I had a dream the other night, and I
Was sittin' in my living room Dozed off to sleep
So I start to dreamin'
I dreamed I walked in a place and
I saw a real strange, weird object Standin' up talkin' to the people
And I found out it was heroin
That deadly drug that go in your veins
He says I came to this country without a passport
Ever since then I've been hunted and sought
My little white grains are nothin' but waste
Soft and deadly and bitter to taste I'm a world of power and all know it's true
Use me once and you'll know it, too
I can make a mere schoolboy forget his books
I can make a world-famous beauty neglect her looks I can make a good man forsake his wife
Send a greedy man to prison for the rest of his life
I can make a man forsake his country and flag
Make a girl sell her body for a five-dollar bag Some think my adventure's a joy and a thrill
But I'll put a gun in your hand and make you kill
In cellophane bags, I've found my way
To heads of state and children at play I'm financed in China, ran in Japan
I'm respected in Turkey and I'm legal in Siam
I take my addicts and make 'em steal, borrow, beg
Then they search for a vein in their arm or their leg So, be you Italian, Jewish, Black or Mex
I can make the most virile of men forget their sex
So now, no, my man, you must, you know, do your best
To keep up your habit until your arrest Now the police have taken you from under my wing
Do you think they dare defy me, I who am king
Now, you must lie in that county jail
Where I can't get to you by visit or mail So squirm, with discomfort, wiggle and cough
Six days of madness, you might throw me off
Curse me in name, defy me in speech
But you'd pick me up right no if I were in your reach All through your sentence you've become resolved to your fate
Hear now young man and woman, I'll be waitin' at the gate
And don't be afraid, don't run, I'm not chased
Sure my name is Heroin, you'll be back for a taste Behold, you're hooked, your foot is in the stirrup
And make, haste, mount the steed and ride him well
For the white horse of heroin will ride you to Hell, to Hell
Will ride you to Hell until you are dead
Dead, brother, dead This is a revolution of the mind
Get your mind together
And get away from drugs
That's the man
Back, back


Some of the words are a little wrong but u get the drift. You can get it at Amazon on several cds -- wether it's the same song, I don't know.
Posted by Garry Purcell at 12:48 pm (PST) on Sun March 2, 2014   
King Heroine by James Brown? You are right. I never heard of it. Are we talking about THE James Brown ??? The Godfather of Soul and a dozen or so other snappy catch-phrases he thought up to describe himself. No problem finding his music, but an early novelity record might be something he didn't want linked to James Brown and the Famous Flames.
I'm thinking this is a totally different guy - a one hit wonder lost forever in the rock and roll wasteland. ( I always wanted to say that.) Sorry, but I have no info about this record ... time to go surfing; should anything turn up, I'll let you know.
Posted by superrenee at 9:25 am (PST) on Sun March 2, 2014   
I have Mr. Custer, Speedy Gonzales on cd too. All my vinyl went to my fav FL dj Ken Held before I moved to Boston. Here's one I bet NO ONE ever heard of: King Heroine by James Brown. IF you've heard of it, let me know. I have it on cassette (took it from the 45 before giving them to the dj). I can't find it on ANY of his cd's. TKS
Posted by Duff at 10:02 am (PST) on Thu February 27, 2014   
Well said, Garry!
Posted by Garry Purcell at 6:25 am (PST) on Thu February 27, 2014   
Here in 2014, we are all too politically correct to poke fun at each other. Oh how I miss the good old days. Larry Verne put a funny musical twist on a story we all knew - you can't do that now-a-days.... someone might be offended!
I am the proud owner of a great collection of politically INcorrect music - all of it funny. If you are one of these thin skinned, easily offenred people then don't listen to anything by Spike Jones and the City Slickers. He was a musical genius who poked fun at everyone and every race. In those days no one was offended - they could see that this was all in fun and there was no malice intended ... and in those days you were not afraid to laugh at yourself.
Posted by Wingslinger at 8:45 pm (PST) on Wed February 26, 2014   
Flip side: "Mr. Livingston." Hey, he had to come up with something.

A few other songs I'll only be hearing in my record room:

"Running Bear" by Johnny Preston, with background 'hunga-dungas' by Texas disc jockey J.P. Richardson, better known as The Big Bopper ("Chantilly Lace"). J.P. was with Buddy Holly and Richie Valens when their plane crashed on Feb 3 1959.

"Ten Little Indians" by The Beach Boys. An album cut from their first LP, 'Surfin' Safari.'

"Speedy Gonzales" by Pat Boone.

Well, I'm tired and foggy, so that's it for now. Keep that vinyl spinning!
Posted by superrenee at 5:49 pm (PST) on Fri February 21, 2014   
Here in 2014, this song would have been banned as not being "politically correct".

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